You Teach Others How To Love You – It’s Not Automatic

teach love works differently

I have noticed an interesting trend in my relationships with others. As soon as I learned exactly how I wanted to be treated by others and I treated myself exactly the same, then others knew how to treat me as well. But in the past, when I was still a child, and I had no idea how I wanted to be treated, people treated me in ways that made me feel used, abused, and uncomfortable.

My friend taught me this important lesson a few days ago. “We teach others how to love us, and how to treat us, by showing them how we treat ourselves.”


Most people are not going to know how to treat you, unless you give them some sort of random directions. You can give them random directions, or if you want to be more specific about it, you can show them how you want to be treated by being absolutely unapologetic about your boundaries, and about how you wish to be treated.

Treat Me This Way?

This is how you should treat me, I show everyone through my actions, words, and thoughts, and they learn. They learn what is unacceptable to me, and they don’t do that. They learn what I like and they hopefully will do more of that, if possible under the circumstances.

If they do something that doesn’t jibe with my personality, I give them a warning shot. Three warning shots and you are out.

That’s how we teach others how to treat us. But most of us don’t do this. We play by everyone else’s rules. We see how they treat us and then we decide if we like it or not. Sometimes we don’t like it, but we don’t say anything, letting them walk all over us over and over and over again.

What the hell?

Okay, so next time, you are in a new relationship, realize now that it is your responsibility to teach them how to treat you. They are not going to learn the truth by magic. We have to build it into them. Capiche?

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